Ever get the feeling your hubby is reading behind your back?

Oh I know you have. I've read about it time and time again. It's one of those things you think "It'll never happen to me." But then it does and you look at your HoH with utter shock and confusion as if this is the kind of thing that absolutely never happens when really you read about that happening to three other DD women just last night.

Oh that?

Yes that.

My husband did that just the other day and I looked at him like he had three heads which is really quite hard to do from certain positions but I managed all the same.

See my husband just started what he likes to call "The Listening Position" defined as me over his knee, bottom round and firm as ever (hey a girl's gotta give herself credit where credit's due in situations such as these where things aren't quite going her way), while in the middle of a screaming match discussion that seems to be getting slightly out of control, not for a spanking, persay, but prepared for one in the even that her tongue to bottom communication is just a few oh so important seconds off.  

The funny thing is that I've heard of quite a few women who seem to "listen better" from this position and are often placed there to finish out discussions as a reminder of who's in charge and why she should probably tell her tongue to have a meeting with her behind before she speaks any louder. And though I knew he never would, I assumed David had been reading these other blogs to come up with the best ways to torture me and make my life harder handle my sometimes feisty ways. 

We were discussing some rather serious issues. Well not so much issues as just decisions that needed to be made that I thought had already been made so I may or may not have been the most respectful I could have been. You see, David has a memory problem. And when I say "memory problem" I really mean that 5 minutes after breakfast is done and eaten I may get the question "What did we eat for breakfast this morning?" as if it were hours or days in the past. So sometimes and/or quite often I get a bit upset when we're having the same discussion for the fourth time, each one with slightly different results and the thought on his end that we've never discussed this before. 

Oh no, I'm not exaggerating. 

We were once again discussing baby things like just how we're going to handle one and parenting things and the like and that's okay to repeat, I'm cool with that. But then the topic of when, if given the option to choose, would we like to go Germany. We may have the option to postpone another year past the 15 months we are supposed to stay in Louisiana now. HE had been the one to bring it up as a good idea if we find I'm pregnant within the next few months and yet HE was the one saying "oh you want to stay here?" GR. Okay, moving on. Basically we we're repeating some rather serious discussion topics that after two previous discussions I thought had been dealt with and decided. Obviously I got just a weency been upset and told him so. A little loudly and with just a hint of sarcasm. (Oh no, not me!) Anywho, things weren't going so well.

He told me to stand up. He told me to stand up which I obviously did immediately. (hahahahaha) I was confused but not near as confused as I was when he pulled me over his knee and took down my bottoms. 

He said, "I'm not saying you are wrong. I'm not saying you're in trouble and I'm not going to spank you as of now. But I am saying that your tone is getting disrespectful and I think this position will remind you of why you should be watching what you say. Now go on, continue what you were saying."

It's been a few days but it was essentially that.

Right then was when he got that "you've totally got three heads" look. Yes I did manage from that position and promptly got told to look back down. 

My oh my, let me tell you, that much to my dismay that position worked. And he wasn't mean about it. In fact it really was just a calming effect especially since he also lifted my shirt and rubbed my back specifically because he knows that calms me. The first time it didn't do a whole whole lot because I was upset about the turn of events and despite what he was saying I felt he was telling me that I was wrong and therefore needed to be put in my place to show me. I refused to say much else until quite a while had passed. But afterwords we discussed why he did that and after reexplaining what he had said before I understood and it was made clear that refusing to go over his knee and into the "listening position" whenever told, no matter how mad I may be, is a spankable offense right there. 

After the explanation I couldn't hold back.

I just had to ask.

"Have you been reading DD blogs?"

"Ha, no, I haven't, why? Do other guys do this too?"

Sigh...how do they come up with these things? 

Statistically speaking, 95% of DD women will find their HoHs doing things they never thought they could come up with without first reading up on the subject.

Also statistically speaking, there's a 98% chance that I made the previous statistic up. 

But it sure sounds accurate doesn't it?

Don't assume it won't happen to you! It'll happen when you least expect it and results will vary! Previously unsore and white bottom not guaranteed back if results don't go as planned. 

Ash

PS. Statistically speaking again, 100% of people like my humor blog and are prettier for it. Subscribe and you'll lose 10 pounds and raise your IQ! But remember, DD is not part of my "public" life so please keep direct references to it off that particular blog and on this one instead :)

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