I'll keep this short because I still don't know what to say.
I've been avoiding this blog because things have changed in my relationship with David and I haven't been sure how to explain it or what exactly I want posted on a public blog.
We are still a DD couple first and foremost and most likely always will be. I will be honest and say that for the most part that is still going wonderfully though we've had our ups and downs. I have several posts in drafts about it that I just couldn't get right and they never got posted. Then my anxiety kicked in and I got overwhelmed and I wrote a post on that...that got deleted by the Internet freezing when I was almost done and hadn't yet saved. That kind of did it for me and I froze and I just pulled away.
While we are indeed still mostly a DD couple we have added some D/s to it as well. We'd talked about it before as it's something I had been interested in and he seemed to enjoy those aspects in bed from time to time. But see that's just it...it's mostly "in bed" types of activities whether they are actually in bed or not as we have taken them beyond the bedroom and I'm not sure I want to share those intimate details here or not but it's part of who we are now.
I wrote out an essay of sorts to David about how we can do DD and D/s and keep them separate but together and I'll put part of that here:
The differences between D/s and DD and how to use them
together but separately.
D/s and DD are both very
different and very similar, but are used for two entirely separate mindsets. I
personally need our lifestyle to be mainly DD as that is what truly helps me to
be more respectful and submissive. I need to feel cared for and loved and safe
and I need to know that my actions have consequences. I need to know that when
I push a wall it will push back and will not bend. DD is entirely about respect
and love and keeping peace and harmony in a marriage and that’s great and what
I want but D/s can also be used. D/s, however, has a time and a place whereas
DD doesn’t turn off. I don’t intend to be a slave but I do feel and want to
feel owned. Does that make sense? D/s is more sexual and purely about dominance
and submission rather than simply harmony. DD’s rules have meaning and reason
behind them. They are for the happiness of our relationship, my safety and well
being and yours, and respect. Submission plays a huge role of course, as that
is how we accomplish those things but it’s a different submission. D/s’ rules are of a more erotic nature
purely meant to dominate and increase a good kind of tension. While D/s can be
thrown in at any time at your discretion, it is not quite a 24/7 thing unless
we were to take it there, which I’m honestly not sure I could handle. I could
never be as extreme as other couples. I don’t think I could ever wear a butt
plug 24/7, needles terrify me, as do hot things. The terms ‘master’ and ‘slave’
make me feel a bit weird and not in a good way. But that doesn’t mean D/s can’t
be part of our lives. First and foremost, in the bedroom is the best place to
start and where we have already begun. You’ve certainly understand the basics
of forcing and choking and spanking in a way that’s not for punishment but
still let’s me know ‘my place.’ You know what the toys are and how to use them
but in D/s they can be brought outside the bedroom. DD is always in the front
of both of our minds as it should be. I know I need to be submissive and
respectful to you. I know that you are mine but you own all that’s mine
including me. I know that you love me and care for me and I need to feel that
but D/s elements throughout our relationship would not harm that.
There was more but once again I feel it to personal to place here.
Anyway...just an update. I intend to keep writing I'm just not sure what about...
Ash
PS...check out my humor blog ohitsher.com
